The LoVe You Have Given Me

♥ Sunday, September 28, 2008

I had missed action in my blog for almost 2 weeks. Cos my daily routine remain.

First wish Huihui my second sis a happy birthday... She was in taiwan now, so can't celebrate with her. Hope she had a enjoyable day!!! Stay healthy...

Sounds like i am talking to myself, cos none of my family members know about my blog... Only few of my friends knew. Even my bf do not know about this. Acting secretive... maybe... haha... I have no friends la... LOL... Speaking rubbish again.

Today sunday, it should not be a time i blog but today i am back at my own house. Don't feel like staying at his house. Just so frustrated with him... Maybe some of the times we have to give each other some space to breathe. It's true in some way but not true in some ways... If a marriage couple has to be like that, i think it is not very healthy at all. Don't it wrong we are not married yet... I am stating example.

Asking why??? All i can say is he is showing me tiring face on saturday. He is the one who wake up early. And after we are back from our brunch, he lie on the sofa looking so tired. Then i tell him to stay at home n i can drive to hui house to collect the lights. But he refused, so he drove me there.

After the collection, we wanna to send his mum n my mum to jurong west 502 for hair cut and dad n me wanna go n buy stove for hui house. I know he is tired, cos he is following us the whole day and it is not his stuff. I did say thank you to him and he say it's ok.

Then at night we went to fetch his mum n my mum from the salon, there after we went up my house to have durian together. After durian, we proceed to wash his car. I am the one who say go and wash cos his car was very dirty. I know it is not nice to drive a dirty car. He is just lazy to do it.

When we are washing the car, he looks lazy and tired to wash the car. Wanna shorten the process of cleaning it. I was thinking, can't he do it once and for all. Why cut short the process. He is not the only person who clean it, i am helping him to wash and vacuum the car. I voice out to him, "Why are you so tired, if you are tired then i don't talk to you loh." It's true right, since you are tired i will leave you alone. I am also doing the same things as you, why i am not as tired as you. Or i just enduring myself even i am tired.

Dislike the way he behave... ... Are you really that tired... If you are tired then endure until night time then sleep. No need to show me all those tiring look and act ok... If you are tired just let me know, and jolly well sleep at home. I can do everything by myself, although i might need your car but i can cycle to hui house too. I have a choice.

After the washing, i keep quiet the whole night. I don't want to talk to you. I won't disturb you. I do things that i like... i watch the show which i like and i don't want to share it with you. my watching of show is always in the room. Buffering those online movie. You know i won't want to fight for the tv in the living room and i don't have the right. I can endure cos i have no right in the house.

You try to give in to me but you know my temper... I can be angry for very very long period of time. If you can't stand me, you always have choice.

Today Sunday Morning, i wake up at 9+am and toss on the bed till 10+ then i wake up. I decided to go home but i know he will definitely be angry if i just walk away without telling him... at least i still respect you Mr Lai. I drop my ideas of going home and wait for him to wake up.

I spent my time by surfing the net, until 12+ then he is awake. We went down and have brunch, he knew i am still unhappy. I am that kind of person, i can ignore you no matter what. I went to ordered my food and he say he is standing at my back for so long and i don't bother to ask what he want to eat.

YES I CAN TELL YOU, I DON'T BOTHER AT ALL... It is your own business.

You want to say i am crazy or what i just don't care. This is me. U can you take it cannot then forget it.

After the brunch, we walk back to his house downstair and i tell him i want to back back my own house and i don't want him to follow but he still follow. I stop my foot step and tell him i want to go home but i don't want you to follow. We stand there for almost 3 mins then he turn around and go home and i proceed home myself...

I want to lead my own free life... I don't want to go back your house and share those tv show which i dislike. I just feel i have no rights to choose the show i like with them around. To avoid all this, i have to go into room everytime to surf net and find things to do. Have you notice it??? I think you had nv notice it. No matter it is weekdays or weekend i am always doing this. Have you realise it. The answer is "No". You will only think that i am rude and want to hide in the room right.

Give me time, i will endure. Until one day my limit is up i will erupt.

♥Want Sunday, September 28, 2008

♥ Monday, September 15, 2008

I had a happy saturday 13th sept 08

Arrange someone to go up my sis place to quote for renovation. The person looks bad to me, although he may be cheap but i think i will not use him. ATTITUDE... Finding other solution.

After math, went home and prepare to go Suntec. My main objective is to see the lighting of the F1 racing, too bad i can't see any nice lighting. Got con by don't know who in school... haha...

Anyway it's ok!!! Hubby and I had a short walk and he bought a bag for me. As my school bag had made me suffer from waist pain... if i am not going to buy a backpack, i will be out of shape soon. The backpack cost $16.90, umbro brand. I don't want something expensive so i get a simple and durable bag which i can bring to school. Thanks hubby for ur bag.

Suntec was not crowded during that time, and it is about 7+pm. weird??? I think the business there is not very good nowadays due to the ERP. Ya... forgot to say, we went to the wealth of fountain for a round trip... nv went in to touch the water before, i think it is just an tourist attraction where people can go in n feel lucky... haha... Rubbish...

Ah ting came to look for me, as we will be having a gathering at her place. And jamie waiting for me at raffle link after her date. After shopping around, we went to carefour to buy 5 bottles of beers and 2 packet of tibits. Hubby drive us and fetch jamie then send himself to jurong east to meet his friend for a birthday celebration at St James power house then i drive them to Ting house.

My gathering at Ting house ended with 9 bottles of beer... We are not the super drinker, Ting is the super drinker. haha... she just love to drink. Actually she is unhappy lah...

Those who came (jamie, ting, yong, mei, boon, boon gf and me). boon n gf nv stay for long, he came to entertain us for awhile cos we have not meet since duno when and his gf is new to us. Jamie, ting and me had our own very secret chat in the room first, we talk about our unhappiness. Ting and me is the attention... haha... We are just pouring out all our secrets... jamie is the listener.

Yong came after that but he had been isolated for awhile as our girls talk is still ongoing. We nv have secrets among us, we talk abt anything. Like what ah ting said, i felt happy to have them around. I mean my secondary school brother n sister. We just simply devoted to each other, who can stand by each other every time we are troubled.

However I poured my sorrow to girls only!!! Maybe some topics to all. During the gathering, we talk and talk, scold n scold, laugh n laugh, encourage, share with each other. I can feel the closeness with them. Maybe some of the secrets i get to know at the very end but i'm still not the last one... LOL

The happy moments with them is nv ending...

The whole session end at only 6am in the morning. Hubby came to look for me after his party and supper at 4+ or 5+am. I think everyone was super tired and only ting is the hero who can talk n talk. Can see jamie was enduring from 12+am to 6am LOL... Once in a blue moon lah!!! Yong, mei n ting went to have breakfast at 651. jamie, me n hubby went home to sleep. My eyes looks like a panda.

I think it is worth having a panda eyes... Love them loads

Sunday had steamboat with hubby family, but i don't feel happy at all. I eat Just because i need to eat. LOL... Mum cook good food too, but hubby wanted to have steamboat and this steamboat session is organize by him. Have to give him face since he dote on me so much.

Hubby spend $80 for the whole raw material we bought for steamboat. There are many leftover, actually wanna continue to eat after i came back from my own house. In the end, his sis went to pour away all the things, my steamboat went to the drain.

haizzz forget it. His house always cannot have leftover food de la... things must be throw away before the night end... I went home after the steamboat session, hubby wanna shit at the time when i wanna go home then he give me the sucking face said "go lo go lo". Then i tell him, i can go back by myself. Even if he follow me back, he is just wasting his time. Why not just stay at his own house to iron the clothes and i go back myself.

Without him i will not have time constraint. Show him unhappy face when i reach home. He just duno y i am unhappy. I don't want to tell him too. Then we Watch dvd together and we get back to bed n sleep.

♥Want Monday, September 15, 2008

♥ Monday, September 1, 2008

Feeling unhappy most of these days...

Friday unhappy, saturday unhappy, sundAY unhappy and today won't be miss too...

Having some family problem, i think is my own problem la... I am just too busybody who like to cares about family matters. Maybe i just let go and don't care about what they are doing and i will be just fine.

But i truly wanna shout out " What kind of SIS are you? Pls wake up ur fucking selfish mind and move out of here". You know you are too overboard.

Another unhappiness is the same old thing. It is about the son mother...

Anyway i won't say much... I am really really very unhappy. Unhappy of you and her!!!
I have a urge, i feel like moving out.

You are making my whole body uncomfortable, i feel like giving you a knock on the head. I think in many ways we are not compatible. I know you treat me good but you just don't know how to get along with me. I may be hard to handle but i can tell you, if you are able to do that you have overcome your weaknesses.

I seems like a homeless child now. Is not really homeless but just that some one is occupying a place where they should not be occupying. If not i won't be like this, i can move back anytime i want. I want to tell every one Staying at a place where it does not give you a feeling of belonging is so uncomfortable, unhappy, miserable, sad and lonely.

Like what my mum always say to me. "You seems like some one who had married away". My heart ache but what can i say... ... All i can say to her is, if you n dad is brave enough to tell her she should move out since she had her own family and nv provide much for this family, i will be happy and most wanted to move back.

Like what we always say "Our own house is always the best".

I move back home, where my things going to be place at. They are occupying the room where i suppose to be in and have all my things in. Should i move back and use up bro wardrobe and mum rooms space to put all my things. And bro will be unhappy and the house is from bad to worse. cos now it is already like a dog hut even there is a maid.

Waiting for my second sis to come back from taiwan and i live with her. It is a good choice, however i have to pay her $200 per month and at the same time i have to give dad n mum allowance. It should be reasonable to everyone that i stay at my sis place and i pay. Maybe i need to adjust my spending during that time. Or i can say i really seems like a home less child who are renting a room outside to stay.

Haizzz... Life is never easy...

Please god, make the bitch wake up her mind and move out, so i can move back my own house. I can do whatever i want and maybe can help my bro to pay some bills. He happy, my parents happy and i will also be happy.

Please give back my life...

I can't breathe anymore... ... Why i cant see the color sky where i see in the past???

♥Want Monday, September 01, 2008